First time doing gravity at my gym yesterday in a while, and I am PAYING for it this morning! It hurts, but it is a good pain! It means I accomplished something, I pushed myself hard enough to get results. I just wish I had never stopped a few months ago, cause I lost so much. I will get back there though, and be stronger and better!
In the gravity class at my gym yesterday I used the TRX straps to do a general overall body workout targeting many different areas. If you haven’t ever seen or used TRX equipment here is the website:
Every time I do these classes I almost always spend the next couple of days feeling the after effects. I love working my hamstrings on the TRX straps the most. I always have trouble really isolating the muscles on the gym’s machines. However, using the straps, I always end slapping the floor with fatigue. Yes, when I get to my limit I have to close my eyes, grunt, breathe, and puusshhhhhh (and look like a little crazy- but good crazy…I think…lol). I kind of want the straps for Christmas (especially the pink set!).
Bah time to do some cleaning, then hit up the gym for another workout! Plan is to do more core and lower back work, and also hit up one of my favorite classes that I just have so much fun in (posted about earlier) Body Jam with Mel!
So I finally got around to looking into what to do with my student loans. My problem is that I have accrued debt (not a crazy amount compared to others, but enough to hurt) over the years through student loans for semesters where I haven’t finished/dropped out do to mental health issues. I was looking into how to possible get this fixed and I found the TPD student loan forgiveness.
My only problem with claiming this is the wording in which they state the qualifications. I have been having these issues for over 60 months, but I am still functional most of the time. I have always been able to hold a job and get by in life. I can put on a good face for the world, but when I am alone sometimes I fall apart. Which is why I work so much now, I am better busy and working all the time, than sitting at home brooding (not to mention I need the mulahhh). So I don’t know if I qualify but hey, it doesn’t hurt to try and look into these things. Also when you do this you cannot get any more student loans. You can only receive aid/financial support, but once you claim this disability you have to find other ways to pay.
Back to School
I am also on the phone with my University as I am typing this out. I am seeing what I need to do to get back into the game, and take classes again (part time of course). I am going to take it slow from now on, and just gauge how I react. It would be the first time I would be fully taking my meds, only taking one to two classes, and just being extremely careful as to not fall back into what has happened before.
Finally I am starting to attempt to eat healthy again and I literally spent all my extra money this week on buying healthy food. Which hurts, but hey its all for a good purpose. I really really need to start this third job though, since the Juice Bar has significantly cut my hours. I am barely getting by at the moment. But hey it will be ok 🙂 (I think!!!)
Got my brown rice, and sweet potatoes all done (picture below)!
So I was sorely disappointed when I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to just start up where I left off a few months ago. I tried to dive head first back into my workouts… and let’s just say that was a bad idea. My sciatica came back which has hindered my further right now, and I basically crashed and burned. So I am going to be taking baby steps to get back in the game… even though I am not happy about it! I call my workouts my “old lady” workouts now. I hate getting older! lol
I wish I had never stopped, but hey, sometimes life gets in the way.
However I am making changes in my job and in my life in order to focus more on my health.
I am meeting with one of the trainers at my gym to discuss personal training and guidance in reaching my goals. I know personal training is expensive, and I get that most people don’t do it. The only problem is that without proper attention and education, a lot of people are doing the exercises wrong. In failing to do them correctly you are setting yourself up for possible injury, working the wrong muscles/not getting the maximum benefit out of the exercise, and just generally failing at life (lol jk!).
My gym (Vent Fitness) also does these small classes called NXT classes which I found extremely helpful. It is almost like personal training because there are only a maximum of 5 people per class. The trainers at the gym teach them, and they really help you learn, correct your form, and push you to be better. Getting in the reinvent program which allowed me to take these classes for a couple of months was beyond worth it. I love my gym, and I really believe in it. You may hear me talking about them all the time, and you’ll just have to get over it :-p
Ok…I just got a little off topic…
What are my goals!??
get certified to teach some sort of group class (yoga, spinning etc!)
compete in either a bikini or figure competition in 2015
I just got a new job that is going to hopefully bring less stress into my life. I just realized that no matter how much I work, and how much effort I put into one of the jobs I am currently working, it won’t matter. I will never get the recognition I deserve, or the appreciation. I am killing myself for inadequate pay, and slight chaos. For someone who can have anxiety issues, chaos is not good…not good… :-p
As you can see breast cancer isn’t even really on this list. Lung cancer is actually the top killer in the cancer family. But who wants to talk about lungs when we have boobs! The reason breast cancer gets so much attention is it is easily marketable, and people like to participate. There is pink for the girls, and boobs for the guys lol
So yes we should donate to this cause and raise awareness, but also remember there are other more prominent and dangerous killers out there!
I just found an old diary of mine and what I said in it broke my heart, and reminded me why I am making these changes in my life. Push forward and fight! ❤ If something is causing unnecessary stress you need to cut it out. Run away from it as far as you can. Stress is a poison that bleeds you till you are dry, and have nothing left to give. I personally have to be very aware of stress and how it is affecting my life. When I start feeling anxious every day, and on the verge of “freaking” out on someone- that means I need to stop.
M diary entry goes like this:
“I am going to try to hold my head high
and no one sees my pain…
I will hide it until I break again
as I always do.”
I never want to be here again.
I may not have a choice in my life’s paths, but I will choose to run a difference course.
So I think it is time for me to shave…thank God I finally bought razors last night I might have gone to the gym yesterday and glued my arms to my side cause I totally had been putting it off! bahaha!
(and why am I telling you about this? I don’t know… hmmm)
Hey summer is over and I have no reason to shave! (other than to conform to a societal normal that I have no interest in following 24/7 right now!) No boyfriend, no boyfriend prospects = I don’t give a crap about shaving. Although I still feel weird and guilty in public especially when working out… It is rather funny how much culture and societal norms shape our lives. I can’t go out in public with hairy areas bared without experiencing a constant feeling of shame and embarrassment.
I actually hate hair. I don’t shave as much as a lot of girls, but I still shave. I absolutely completely and totally cannot stand pubic hair (GROSS), and any other hair anywhere in my bathroom etc. It just grosses me out. So yes I don’t like shaving and feeling like I have to shave all the time. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to shave ever. The whole shaving thing just reminded me of how our environment affects our thought processes and how we live our lives. There are plenty of women (probably the majority) who do not shave on this Earth. Free yourselves! :-p haha
Just a little fun at my gym the other day! Got a little pink put in my hair and a glitter tattoo! So cute! Also in an update of my mental and physical health I have been really bad lately. I keep forgetting to take my medicine (will be correcting that SOON), and because I was too busy working I had not been working out for the past couple of months and therefore my sciatica is back. UGH!!!
For those of you who do not know sciatica is the irritation of the sciatic nerve which is a symptom of an underlying condition. I have seen my doctor and mine is not spine related (thank God) but it is still annoying/painful. It is also a huge reason why I should continue to keep up with my physical health. Keeping my back and ab muscles in shape kept this away for a while, but since I have lost most of that strength now it is back! My symptoms are shooting pain, numbness and a tingling sensation from my hip to my foot, and dull achy pain in my lower back. It gets worse the more I don’t relax and tend to it. Let’s just say I have been hauling ass back to my gym and getting in some low impact ab and back workouts to try and rectify this situation. I seriously can’t wait to get back to my full workouts. I miss them so much.
Seeing that I have been seriously over working myself I am only going to be working two jobs from now on and focusing on my mental and physical health. Also I need to fix everything and get my life in order (#1 move is to FINALLY get my room clean…omg been an ongoing project for weeks!).
As some of you might know I manage/cold press at my local juice bar! If you haven’t ever had cold pressed juices find a store/bar near you! They are delish, with no fillers (ours are only the juices from the fruits/veggies!).