Why Fight for those with Mental Illnesses?

A friend asked me today why I cared so much.

This was my reply:

Because I went through it, still go through it, and there is a huge stigma around mental illnesses. 1/4-1/5 people suffer from a form of mental illness in their life time (that is a huge number). Many of them do so silently because they are afraid of being judged or misunderstood- and for good reason. I even suffer from that time to time. I’m pretty open about it, but I’ve had people treat me differently after I opened up to them. I just don’t want people to suffer in silence. I want them to be heard, to get the help they need, and feel secure in seeking that help. How many people die/commit suicide because they didn’t feel like they had anywhere to go or people to talk to? How many people do not seek the help they need because they feel like it makes them look weak or “different?” It shouldn’t be that way. It should be treated like any other illness, something that occurs and is manageable. There is no reason why people with mental illnesses shouldn’t live normal lives, or at least as normal as possible. I want to make lives better, educate people to understanding, and love. Just love everyone I can <3. haha

Is that too much?? :-p

Because that is how I really feel baha

I mean we all have problems. I feel like having gone through those things just makes me a better person and more able to connect and understand. Empathy overload :-p But I have always been like that, why I allow myself to get hurt, and over think EVERYTHING. ❤

Why else live this life if you can’t make a difference in the world?

Nothing else will live on except for the imprints you make in the lives of the people around you.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/alisa.rogne.1

Instagram: fightwithfitness

My personal Beachbody website:

http://www.beachbodycoach.com/esuite/home/fightwithfitness

I am here for you as always if you ever need anything. Just message me .

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HELP

Check this out ❤ More to come. I will be starting to be more active again starting today! Love you, and hope everyone has been doing well!!!

This is basically a PowerPoint calling for action.

There are millions of people suffering around the world with Mental Illnesses who are posting on social media sites just waiting for people like you and me to notice them. To love them. To give them hope. Please take the time to go through the slides ❤

Mental Health

(click me lol ^^)

Monday Motivation

I ran across this blog talking about the benefits of fitness on mental health: Monday Motivation. Check it out! So get started now! Sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me sane and going.

NAMI Recognition Dinner

So I was lucky enough to have off last Friday night so I could make it to the first NAMI Rensselaer County Recognition Dinner and Art Show. It is always great to meet with people who accept you and understand you, and to see them get rewarded/recognized for all the great work they have put into the organization. Specifically touching was Gail Moore who spoke about her life and childhood, and who was recognized for her many years of dedication to helping people with mental illnesses. I also got to meet the Dean of Public Health at the college I attended: SUNY Albany. He was sitting at my table! What a small world! If you want to help support your local NAMI group, get involved, or reach out you can find them at the following website:

http://www.nami.org/

It is such a great organization filled with compassionate and skilled people waiting to reach out and do whatever they can to help you get through the tough times. I hope that I can make the time to get involved, sometime in the next few years.

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They also featured art from some of the members which you can see below:

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Taking Care of Business

Loan Forgiveness

So I finally got around to looking into what to do with my student loans. My problem is that I have accrued debt (not a crazy amount compared to others, but enough to hurt) over the years through student loans for semesters where I haven’t finished/dropped out do to mental health issues. I was looking into how to possible get this fixed and I found the TPD student loan forgiveness.

http://www.disabilitydischarge.com/home/

My only problem with claiming this is the wording in which they state the qualifications. I have been having these issues for over 60 months, but I am still functional most of the time. I have always been able to hold a job and get by in life. I can put on a good face for the world, but when I am alone sometimes I fall apart. Which is why I work so much now, I am better busy and working all the time, than sitting at home brooding (not to mention I need the mulahhh). So I don’t know if I qualify but hey, it doesn’t hurt to try and look into these things. Also when you do this you cannot get any more student loans. You can only receive aid/financial support, but once you claim this disability you have to find other ways to pay.

Back to School

I am also on the phone with my University as I am typing this out. I am seeing what I need to do to get back into the game, and take classes again (part time of course). I am going to take it slow from now on, and just gauge how I react. It would be the first time I would be fully taking my meds, only taking one to two classes, and just being extremely careful as to not fall back into what has happened before.

Food Prep

Finally I am starting to attempt to eat healthy again and I literally spent all my extra money this week on buying healthy food. Which hurts, but hey its all for a good purpose. I really really need to start this third job though, since the Juice Bar has significantly cut my hours. I am barely getting by at the moment. But hey it will be ok 🙂 (I think!!!)

Got my brown rice, and sweet potatoes all done (picture below)!

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On a side note…

Time to get ready to work out!

Strength of Us

Found this gem on the NAMI website (National Alliance on Mental Illness):

http://www.nami.org/

Here is a small description of the website and where you can find it:

http://strengthofus.org/

StrengthofUs is an online community designed to inspire young adults impacted by mental health issues to think positive, stay strong and achieve their goals through peer support and resource sharing. We believe every young adult deserves to feel hopeful, supported and encouraged to love who they are.

StrengthofUs is a user-generated and user-driven community; so basically it’s whatever you make it. Everything here has been developed and created by and for young adults with you specifically in mind. We hope every time you visit, you find hope, encouragement and support.

I will be posting from these blogs in order to help support the website and to help share the amazing stories that others have share to help raise awareness, and reach out to people in similar situations. Today it is about an elderly lady who has dementia. The story is beautiful, and it is touching to see someone with such imagination, kindness, and understanding caring for the elderly.

It is titled: Her Invisible People, by MelissaMT

http://strengthofus.org/blog/view/203551/her-invisible-people

I arrive early to the home of my first client of the week.  I am greeted by her daughter, a senior citizen herself, who is visibly sleep-deprived and distraught.   She explains that her mother has been up all night and the dementia is worse than ever.  She describes this stage as a whole new dimension, one of visions and voices, erratic mood swings and lack of sleep….

(click on the link to read the whole story)

Diary From the Past

I just found an old diary of mine and what I said in it broke my heart, and reminded me why I am making these changes in my life. Push forward and fight! ❤ If something is causing unnecessary stress you need to cut it out. Run away from it as far as you can. Stress is a poison that bleeds you till you are dry, and have nothing left to give. I personally have to be very aware of stress and how it is affecting my life. When I start feeling anxious every day, and on the verge of “freaking” out on someone- that means I need to stop.

M diary entry goes like this:

“I am going to try to hold my head high

and no one sees my pain…

I will hide it until I break again

as I always do.”

8/30/2011

I never want to be here again.

I may not have a choice in my life’s paths, but I will choose to run a difference course.

RIP Robin Williams

Robin Williams CNN Report

RIP Robin Williams ❤ So sad to hear about another person succumbing to mental illness. May he finally find the peace and relief he could not find in life. It was so strange, I was literally just watching Jumanji and Hook this past week. For some reason this his home more than other celebrity deaths have.

Just shows us that even many celebrities struggle with different forms of mental illnesses as well. Even the rich and famous cannot escape the inner workings of genetics and environment.

My heart goes out to his family.

I am truly saddened by his loss. Always surprises me when I grieve for the loss of someone I have never met or spoken to. But he touched all of us in some way. Made us laugh, cry, and entertained us. Seemed to be such a good genuine soul.

Stephen Piorkowsk: Running from the Past to Run to a Brighter Future

I had the privilege of living near Stephen’s wife, Pam a few years back and I am so glad I met them. They were the ones to introduce me to NAMI, and it is really nice/refreshing to talk to other people who really truly understand your struggles.

I can personally attest to how helpful it is to read about others struggles, strategies, and recovery etc.. We need to get mental illnesses out in the open, and eliminate the stigma that makes people feel like they have to hide. I just found out from a friend that her college professor recently committed suicide. Who knows if such a heartbreaking tragedy could have been prevented if maybe she felt she could be more open, that it was okay to seek help, that she wouldn’t be judged.

Being depressed is an illness that needs to be treated, just like the flu or cancer.

I hope I can make a difference in this fight, even if it is just a small one.

I asked Stephen if he would be willing to share his story and here it is 🙂


If you would like to share your own story, please feel free to e-mail it to me and I would be more than happy to share it!

Fightwithfitness@outlook.com


 

Stephen Piorkowski                                                                                        July 2, 2014

Running from the Past to Run to a Brighter Future

 

 

Years go by and your memories of the past are shaded by what seemed to be great, and memories that were bad. I was around 17 when I was caught in a whirlwind of events that changed my life forever. My brother was in the army and stationed around Boston. Our family received a call that he was A.W.O.L. I thought that going up to find him would help and get him to safety. Little did I know that my safety was in jeopardy. I found my brother and convinced him to return to his base. I was still up in Boston and staying with people who offered me a place. One night, I came back home without any knowledge of a curfew. I left the subway train and, as soon as I left the station I was caught in the middle of a riot between the Boston police and the Black Panthers and the Weathermen Underground. I was surrounded by police and was battered with clubs on my head that resulted in me receiving a traumatic brain injury (T.B.I.) I could only see blood around me and was taken to a hospital. I could not get out of bed and I could not speak, no words left my mouth. I could not remember things. My parents brought me home from Boston in mid-August and my Senior Year in High School was going to start. I could not bring myself to even thinking of going to school in the shape I was in. My parents argued with me about this, they found out by going my doctor I could get home nurse care. The nurse that I had, helped me by getting me out and found me a job with the County. It was a job that I shared with others and it was not challenging for me and motivated me to move on to better places to work. I still was suffering from the Brain Injury:I started having Grand Mal seizures, and on top of that I became depressed. I just existed by working different jobs and going out with friends. I had no plans and was just caught in a whirlwind of depression and epilepsy .

I started to see my life and independence was declining. I wanted to find a way to become healthy and change my life. I went to the library and researched epilepsy. No internet at that time every piece of information was found in libraries. I found that there were people who saw improvement by running. I started to run and I was a smoker at the time. I stopped because my breathing was so affected. I remember running a 5 mile race and I saw black and stars. I decided to stop. I also changed my friends. I could not be around people who used drugs. I stopped taking drugs and I started running about 5 miles a day and running races on weekends by 3 to 4 months I was running 50 miles a week and I decided to run my first marathon. It was the 1982 Jersey Shore Marathon and I finished under 4 hours. That was a great time for a first time marathon. I worked and trained for the New Your Marathon in 1983 and I ran 10 consecutive New York Marathons and did not miss a running workout for years. The decision to change my friends and choose a healthy lifestyle was my decision based on research that I discovered. I also found that my depression was not an issue. My seizures were controlled. I had a couple in those 10 years but I believe running gave me strength to handle stress by me controlling stress (long distance running) and going to great distances to become strong.

I was married in New York and I lived in Brooklyn. I worked at Columbia University as a Production coordinator for the College. I also worked for the New York Road Runners Club as a race event coordinator. I received money from people who ran races but as soon as that was finished I was able to run all races for free. I became the Prospect Track Club runner of the year by finishing over 400 miles of races and I am not even saying how many training miles that I ran.

Eventually after being married we decided to have children. We tried to have children but miscarriages happened and we decided to adopt. We traveled to Hungary to adopt our twins and we came back home after 5 weeks. We had plans to have a nanny to take care of our children but that fell apart. With not many options we decided that I would take care of the children. Twins from an orphanage was very challenging but I did well. I found programs that they could belong to that would address the issues children from orphanages face. Physical therapy, speech therapy and head start programs to give them extra care. After 6 months of taking care of my twins I decided it was time to return to work. I decided to change my career from a production coordinator of printing to a chef. I was hired to work for the prestigious Whitney family of Saratoga. I worked from 7 in the morning to about 7 at night and loved the job and did well. I wanted to continue but my former wife had no interest in taking care of the children and decided that I should not work those hours. Well I was hired to work those hours and even more because they wanted me to travel to Saratoga, Georgia , England to cook for the Whitney’s and their staff. Eventually I left not felling happy and depressed. I also did not mention that I was not supported by my former wife to even get a break. I stopped running when we adopted the children. I also stopped taking my epilepsy medication because during the time that I ran. Running and exercise made me strong both mentally and physically. I took care of my twin sons at home and participated in school events and activities. My former wife did not but after 8 years of taking great care of our sons she decided that she wanted me to leave. I searched for work but it was hard because over those years I was a stay home dad. No one wanted to hire me and I became depressed. Suicidal thoughts started to emerge I felt lost and without support more than ever my former wife threatened to throw me out and the more I heard that the more depressed I became. I felt trapped and I had to think quickly. I was weakened by my former wife by her way of making me feel useless. My moral sunk, my confidence was gone and the only thoughts I had were how I was going to survive. We had a home in Brooklyn and a home in Ocean Grove NJ. I took my sons to the Jersey Shore home in Ocean Grove all summer long and on holidays and weekends. My former wife argued with me about moving out and one weekend she said she was going to her mothers with the boys. I decided that this was the time for me to leave I packed everything I could in a van. Moved to Ocean Grove and that was my freedom returning. But at a cost I moved in with hardly any money and had to find work. I turned manic and started losing sleep maybe lucky if I could get a couple hours in. I wasn’t eating well and started to feel freedom from my depression that held me captive when I was abused by my former wife. I did so much but did not have a stable concrete foundation and never felt any comfort.

I started having seizures during my depression just before I left my former wife I just did not know what were the causes. Then I found out because during the years that I ran I was not depressed or having seizures. I was healthy because I trained and worked out. I ate well and slept well.

I left the Jersey Shore and my former wife in Brooklyn and moved up to Albany eventually settling in Delmar NY. I had started my routine again running every day and training for races. I became strong and seizures stopped. I started to work at RPI after working as a customer service representative. The hours in the kitchen were sometimes 60 hours and even when they were 40 hour weeks I was too tired to run. I worked hard to become a good baker and chef but had a supervisor who just was terrible to me and other staff members. I had my hours reduced and was in such bad shape because of the worry of my finances. This set me in another depression. I was not sleeping worrying about work and money. I was worried because of my lack of sleep that I was going to have a seizure. I was getting better because I was prescribe medication that helped after going through some trial and error. I asked Pam to marry me and we set the date for June 9th 2012 and got married in Providence RI and left to Iceland on our honeymoon. Well everything caught up to me and when we landed in Iceland I had two seizures, one out on the street and then when I was sent to our hotel, I had one in the room. After 30 hours on intravenous valium and resting we were able to go on. We came home back to Delmar and I had two more. One at home with my wife Pam calling the first aid and the ambulance taking me to Albany Med. When in Albany Med I had another and it was a severe one. One that had the doctors hospitalize me. I was released and was told to not drive and I was noticing some mania. I was so upset that I was unable to drive that I biked over 40 miles every day to Troy NY from Delmar. I also wanted to be independent, so I walked biked everywhere. When I was out sick from the seizures and had a lot of time so I set a room up in my house that connected a complete stereo system, TV, computer, tape player, record player CD player, DVD player and desk with art work in one night. I did not sleep again. I seems the seizures that I have and the bipolar symptoms are related. I sometimes are fearful of their return.

I considered therapies to become healthy again and I decided that it was time to go to a outpatient treatment center at Four Winds at Saratoga. . I went for 8 weeks and I believe it improved my mental health but I had to make things better. It took me time to find a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist. The Psychologist helped Pam and me work out our problems and the Psychiatrist eventually prescribe Lithium that was so vital for my recovery. I started going to Schenectady College last September and since then I have been on the Presidents List for the Fall and Spring Terms. I also was awarded a scholarship. I have been seizure free for over a year and my doctor said I can drive again. I started running again and I feel better than ever.

Healthy Minds and healthy bodies are both as important to enjoy life. I will go on sharing my stories and look forward to brighter days.

My wife Pam

She has been through a lot . Having to witness and help me when I had a seizure on our honeymoon I shared the trauma that she experienced. I feel that it’s just as hard for a person to see as it is a person having a seizure. I wanted to get help for her and the epilepsy foundation gave her counseling. I received counseling also. I started putting my life together and Pams thanks to them. Pam worked extra hard to go to workshops at NAMI and get support for caregivers of people with mental illness. I still struggle with the stigma of mental illness and epilepsy and hope education and awareness will free those of us mislabeled.

 

Thank you Stephen