You ARE Beautiful <3

Just wanted to make sure you start off your Monday with a little reminder that you are beautiful.

Inside and out.

No matter what they say.

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I am here for you.

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Why Fight for those with Mental Illnesses?

A friend asked me today why I cared so much.

This was my reply:

Because I went through it, still go through it, and there is a huge stigma around mental illnesses. 1/4-1/5 people suffer from a form of mental illness in their life time (that is a huge number). Many of them do so silently because they are afraid of being judged or misunderstood- and for good reason. I even suffer from that time to time. I’m pretty open about it, but I’ve had people treat me differently after I opened up to them. I just don’t want people to suffer in silence. I want them to be heard, to get the help they need, and feel secure in seeking that help. How many people die/commit suicide because they didn’t feel like they had anywhere to go or people to talk to? How many people do not seek the help they need because they feel like it makes them look weak or “different?” It shouldn’t be that way. It should be treated like any other illness, something that occurs and is manageable. There is no reason why people with mental illnesses shouldn’t live normal lives, or at least as normal as possible. I want to make lives better, educate people to understanding, and love. Just love everyone I can <3. haha

Is that too much?? :-p

Because that is how I really feel baha

I mean we all have problems. I feel like having gone through those things just makes me a better person and more able to connect and understand. Empathy overload :-p But I have always been like that, why I allow myself to get hurt, and over think EVERYTHING. ❤

Why else live this life if you can’t make a difference in the world?

Nothing else will live on except for the imprints you make in the lives of the people around you.

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I am here for you as always if you ever need anything. Just message me .

HELP

Check this out ❤ More to come. I will be starting to be more active again starting today! Love you, and hope everyone has been doing well!!!

This is basically a PowerPoint calling for action.

There are millions of people suffering around the world with Mental Illnesses who are posting on social media sites just waiting for people like you and me to notice them. To love them. To give them hope. Please take the time to go through the slides ❤

Mental Health

(click me lol ^^)

Monday Motivation

I ran across this blog talking about the benefits of fitness on mental health: Monday Motivation. Check it out! So get started now! Sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me sane and going.

Strength of Us

Found this gem on the NAMI website (National Alliance on Mental Illness):

http://www.nami.org/

Here is a small description of the website and where you can find it:

http://strengthofus.org/

StrengthofUs is an online community designed to inspire young adults impacted by mental health issues to think positive, stay strong and achieve their goals through peer support and resource sharing. We believe every young adult deserves to feel hopeful, supported and encouraged to love who they are.

StrengthofUs is a user-generated and user-driven community; so basically it’s whatever you make it. Everything here has been developed and created by and for young adults with you specifically in mind. We hope every time you visit, you find hope, encouragement and support.

I will be posting from these blogs in order to help support the website and to help share the amazing stories that others have share to help raise awareness, and reach out to people in similar situations. Today it is about an elderly lady who has dementia. The story is beautiful, and it is touching to see someone with such imagination, kindness, and understanding caring for the elderly.

It is titled: Her Invisible People, by MelissaMT

http://strengthofus.org/blog/view/203551/her-invisible-people

I arrive early to the home of my first client of the week.  I am greeted by her daughter, a senior citizen herself, who is visibly sleep-deprived and distraught.   She explains that her mother has been up all night and the dementia is worse than ever.  She describes this stage as a whole new dimension, one of visions and voices, erratic mood swings and lack of sleep….

(click on the link to read the whole story)

**Warning** I’ve Relasped. Please, Help Me.

Click on the link below!


**Warning** I’ve Relasped. Please, Help Me..


If you have time to read this and lend support to this beautiful person please do! 

There is nothing worse than getting to your lowest point and just wanting it all to end.

To feel hopeless and tired of fighting.

Just remember reach each out and love everyone you meet. Smile, wave, call your friends…every little action can make a day, be the turning point in someone’s life, or even save a life.

You are beautiful..

You are meaningful

It is not you.

It is all in your head.

Your brain malfunctioning.

Your neurons unable to connect properly.

Signals diverted, halted, lost.

It is not your fault.

You have an illness.

Just like a cold or cancer.

You can only try to control the symptoms.

There are people waiting to help,

Waiting to wrap their arms around you

To listen without judgment.

To love unconditionally.

Fight.

Fight with fitness.

Fight with love.

Fight with anything and everything.

Just fight. 

Live.

Mania, Love, and a Little More About Me.

http://www.ibpf.org/mood-love-overlap-romantic-love-and-mania

Very very interesting. Please take the time to watch this if you can! I have felt the overlap and consequences of both and loved to hear someone talk about/present it in such a way.

Excellent information.

This may explain why it is very difficult for me to maintain/stay in relationships. Before my current relationship of 5 years I always fell in and out of love quickly. I honestly feel bad for some of my boyfriends because I am sure they never really understood why. It would make sense that at the time I first met them I was in some sort of a manic phase and then as everything died down it just “wasn’t the same,” and I didn’t feel in love anymore. I always remember thinking that same thing many times, and feeling blank and empty in the end. It is not that I wouldn’t care about them anymore, I just felt that I was incapable of loving them in the same way as when I first met them. Which to me felt like I just plain wasn’t in love anymore. I has to be easy to believe you are in love in a manic state, and maybe you are, but it is a different kind of love. Possibly warped in some ways because you are not your normal healthy self. So when the mania disappears you feel a loss, and question the relationship you have developed.

I always jump into relationships and am an all or nothing kind of girl. Before I was aware of my disorder I just thought this was how things were meant to be. However, now I question whether it is simply part of my mania and if there are particular triggers that make me more susceptible to these sort of things. I met a boyfriend on the highway for goodness sake! Not that it wasn’t fun and I don’t regret it (because he ended up being a very good person). Just, why would I put myself in such a potentially dangerous situation. It is because at times when I am manic and loving life I am more likely to act wild, and be risk taking/excitement seeking. Not that we all don’t love these times when you feel amazing, on top of the world, confident, unstoppable etc… But…BUT…it usually almost always comes with consequences in the end.

Nothing is usually ever that good without being somewhat bad.

I am not saying at all whatsoever that because you meet someone in a manic episode you don’t love them. I personally feel I can love more fiercely than many when I am in a relationship. It cycles though, or has cycled, because I was not properly managing my symptoms. I believe that is why some of my relationships did not last. I can’t blame the ending on all of them, that would be just silly, but I can see the pattern.

What is so very difficult though, is the fact that I am a different person during these phases in my life. When I am normal, manic, or depressed I display different traits and that can be very frustrating for whomever I am in a relationship with. I have been told before after being with someone for a while that I am not the person they fell in love with. The wild, carefree, crazy, fun person.

It takes a very special person to fully understand that who I was then was a part of me, but not the normal healthy me.

It takes an even more special person to be able to deal with and help me manage my disease.

I pray for all of you who suffer with mental disorders that you find this person who can love you for your many faces. Who can help you through the tough times, and be the compassionate, understanding, loving, and gentle person that you need.

Workout: Tuesday 6/11/14

So already I am behind on my schedule! *grrr* I was SUPPOSED to do leg day on Monday…but hey I guess everything doesn’t always go as planned and we just have to improvise ;). This workout was particularly hard for me, possibly because it was my first time at the gym since I got sick. I didn’t get to get everything in, but what I missed I will add in later on today after work!

  • 15 minute warm up on the elliptical
  • Leg extension machine x12 (3 sets)
  • I WAS going to do the leg curl machine afterwards, but you know…some ladies need their social time and thus decide that they need to do it while they are “working out”…. Makes me so angry. DO NOT DO THIS!!! There are people who go to the gym to actually accomplish something rather than exercising their jaw muscles… Have a little respect and consideration for others <3.

Sorry about the rant, might feel a little strongly about this :-p.

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Ok :-p I think I got that off my chest ❤

back to my workout…

  • Smith machine squats (narrow, wide, sumo)
    • 20lbs x12, 12, 12
    • 40lbs x12, 12, 12
    • 60lbw x12, 12, 12
    • 80lbs x7, 7, 7
    • 100lbs x3, 2, 3
  • Romanian deadlifts (60lbs) and lunges
    • x20 (deadlifts), 20 (lunges on each leg, so total of 40)
    • x15, 20
    • x16, 29
    • x9, 15
  • Seated calf raise (in, middle, out)
    • 70lbs x12, 12, 12
    • 75lbs x12, 12, 12
    • 80lbs x12, 12, 12
  • Dumbbell squat 25lbs for the duration of the song : Wiggle by Jason Derulo (yes I know…I just can’t help myself…)
  • Side lunges for the duration of the songs: Stay with My by Sam Smith, and Wild Love by Pitbull

 

I then had to haul a** out of the gym to make to do dinner with Nate and Paige!

Hiking Algonquin in the Adirondacks

Decided to hike the second highest peak in New York last week! It was so beautiful, and Dino really enjoyed the hike. The little trooper must have walked at least 3-4 miles himself, and them was carried half of the way when it got steep. You know you are getting in shape when you hike 8 miles and are totally fine the next morning! I was completely surprised. Last time we did Marcy and I DIED the next day. The only bad thing was I definitely got a sunburn, but hey next time maybe I will remember the sunscreen! I would recommend the Adirondacks to anyone who is looking for a beautiful place to do some outdoorsy things. It is just gorgeous, I am in awe every time we drive up there.

http://visitadirondacks.com/

http://www.lakeplacid.com/do/outdoors/summerfall/hiking/46-high-peaks

http://www.lakeplacid.com/do/hiking/algonquin-mountain

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Definitely not an “easy” trail, but well worth the time and effort!

 

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Doctor’s Visit: Reality Check

Have I ever mentioned how telling the truth of how things are in your life and fessing up are the hardest things for me? I am so much better at blocking out the bad and pushing forward. Sometimes though, you cannot keep running, it eventually catches up. Which totally sucks by the way :-p

So I saw my doctor and confessed to him everything that has been going on. How I didn’t finish school, and have not been really great about taking my medication like I should. He gave me homework:

#1- get an app to remind me to take my pills, and actually do it
#2- get in touch with my advisor and talk to her about everything

He also mentioned that possibly my venture into this whole fitness thing might be some sort of coping mechanism to help me feel better about not doing well in school. Sort of a, I am working hard in one area to make up for my lacking in the other. While I do not regret the choice to live a healthier lifestyle, this does makes sense, and I am going to try to be more aware of it, and I am never going to give up on school. I will finish no matter how long it takes me!

#3- I have to get another hand brace that fits properly. The official diagnosis is De Quervains Tenosynovitis! So I just need to take some Aleve, ice my hand, and give it tons of rest. Nothing major, just more annoying than anything.

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And just remember!

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Keep up the hard work in whatever you are doing. Something is better than nothing!