Why Fight for those with Mental Illnesses?

A friend asked me today why I cared so much.

This was my reply:

Because I went through it, still go through it, and there is a huge stigma around mental illnesses. 1/4-1/5 people suffer from a form of mental illness in their life time (that is a huge number). Many of them do so silently because they are afraid of being judged or misunderstood- and for good reason. I even suffer from that time to time. I’m pretty open about it, but I’ve had people treat me differently after I opened up to them. I just don’t want people to suffer in silence. I want them to be heard, to get the help they need, and feel secure in seeking that help. How many people die/commit suicide because they didn’t feel like they had anywhere to go or people to talk to? How many people do not seek the help they need because they feel like it makes them look weak or “different?” It shouldn’t be that way. It should be treated like any other illness, something that occurs and is manageable. There is no reason why people with mental illnesses shouldn’t live normal lives, or at least as normal as possible. I want to make lives better, educate people to understanding, and love. Just love everyone I can <3. haha

Is that too much?? :-p

Because that is how I really feel baha

I mean we all have problems. I feel like having gone through those things just makes me a better person and more able to connect and understand. Empathy overload :-p But I have always been like that, why I allow myself to get hurt, and over think EVERYTHING. ❤

Why else live this life if you can’t make a difference in the world?

Nothing else will live on except for the imprints you make in the lives of the people around you.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/alisa.rogne.1

Instagram: fightwithfitness

My personal Beachbody website:

http://www.beachbodycoach.com/esuite/home/fightwithfitness

I am here for you as always if you ever need anything. Just message me .

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Mania, Love, and a Little More About Me.

http://www.ibpf.org/mood-love-overlap-romantic-love-and-mania

Very very interesting. Please take the time to watch this if you can! I have felt the overlap and consequences of both and loved to hear someone talk about/present it in such a way.

Excellent information.

This may explain why it is very difficult for me to maintain/stay in relationships. Before my current relationship of 5 years I always fell in and out of love quickly. I honestly feel bad for some of my boyfriends because I am sure they never really understood why. It would make sense that at the time I first met them I was in some sort of a manic phase and then as everything died down it just “wasn’t the same,” and I didn’t feel in love anymore. I always remember thinking that same thing many times, and feeling blank and empty in the end. It is not that I wouldn’t care about them anymore, I just felt that I was incapable of loving them in the same way as when I first met them. Which to me felt like I just plain wasn’t in love anymore. I has to be easy to believe you are in love in a manic state, and maybe you are, but it is a different kind of love. Possibly warped in some ways because you are not your normal healthy self. So when the mania disappears you feel a loss, and question the relationship you have developed.

I always jump into relationships and am an all or nothing kind of girl. Before I was aware of my disorder I just thought this was how things were meant to be. However, now I question whether it is simply part of my mania and if there are particular triggers that make me more susceptible to these sort of things. I met a boyfriend on the highway for goodness sake! Not that it wasn’t fun and I don’t regret it (because he ended up being a very good person). Just, why would I put myself in such a potentially dangerous situation. It is because at times when I am manic and loving life I am more likely to act wild, and be risk taking/excitement seeking. Not that we all don’t love these times when you feel amazing, on top of the world, confident, unstoppable etc… But…BUT…it usually almost always comes with consequences in the end.

Nothing is usually ever that good without being somewhat bad.

I am not saying at all whatsoever that because you meet someone in a manic episode you don’t love them. I personally feel I can love more fiercely than many when I am in a relationship. It cycles though, or has cycled, because I was not properly managing my symptoms. I believe that is why some of my relationships did not last. I can’t blame the ending on all of them, that would be just silly, but I can see the pattern.

What is so very difficult though, is the fact that I am a different person during these phases in my life. When I am normal, manic, or depressed I display different traits and that can be very frustrating for whomever I am in a relationship with. I have been told before after being with someone for a while that I am not the person they fell in love with. The wild, carefree, crazy, fun person.

It takes a very special person to fully understand that who I was then was a part of me, but not the normal healthy me.

It takes an even more special person to be able to deal with and help me manage my disease.

I pray for all of you who suffer with mental disorders that you find this person who can love you for your many faces. Who can help you through the tough times, and be the compassionate, understanding, loving, and gentle person that you need.

Workout: Tuesday 6/11/14

So already I am behind on my schedule! *grrr* I was SUPPOSED to do leg day on Monday…but hey I guess everything doesn’t always go as planned and we just have to improvise ;). This workout was particularly hard for me, possibly because it was my first time at the gym since I got sick. I didn’t get to get everything in, but what I missed I will add in later on today after work!

  • 15 minute warm up on the elliptical
  • Leg extension machine x12 (3 sets)
  • I WAS going to do the leg curl machine afterwards, but you know…some ladies need their social time and thus decide that they need to do it while they are “working out”…. Makes me so angry. DO NOT DO THIS!!! There are people who go to the gym to actually accomplish something rather than exercising their jaw muscles… Have a little respect and consideration for others <3.

Sorry about the rant, might feel a little strongly about this :-p.

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Ok :-p I think I got that off my chest ❤

back to my workout…

  • Smith machine squats (narrow, wide, sumo)
    • 20lbs x12, 12, 12
    • 40lbs x12, 12, 12
    • 60lbw x12, 12, 12
    • 80lbs x7, 7, 7
    • 100lbs x3, 2, 3
  • Romanian deadlifts (60lbs) and lunges
    • x20 (deadlifts), 20 (lunges on each leg, so total of 40)
    • x15, 20
    • x16, 29
    • x9, 15
  • Seated calf raise (in, middle, out)
    • 70lbs x12, 12, 12
    • 75lbs x12, 12, 12
    • 80lbs x12, 12, 12
  • Dumbbell squat 25lbs for the duration of the song : Wiggle by Jason Derulo (yes I know…I just can’t help myself…)
  • Side lunges for the duration of the songs: Stay with My by Sam Smith, and Wild Love by Pitbull

 

I then had to haul a** out of the gym to make to do dinner with Nate and Paige!

Doctor’s Visit: Reality Check

Have I ever mentioned how telling the truth of how things are in your life and fessing up are the hardest things for me? I am so much better at blocking out the bad and pushing forward. Sometimes though, you cannot keep running, it eventually catches up. Which totally sucks by the way :-p

So I saw my doctor and confessed to him everything that has been going on. How I didn’t finish school, and have not been really great about taking my medication like I should. He gave me homework:

#1- get an app to remind me to take my pills, and actually do it
#2- get in touch with my advisor and talk to her about everything

He also mentioned that possibly my venture into this whole fitness thing might be some sort of coping mechanism to help me feel better about not doing well in school. Sort of a, I am working hard in one area to make up for my lacking in the other. While I do not regret the choice to live a healthier lifestyle, this does makes sense, and I am going to try to be more aware of it, and I am never going to give up on school. I will finish no matter how long it takes me!

#3- I have to get another hand brace that fits properly. The official diagnosis is De Quervains Tenosynovitis! So I just need to take some Aleve, ice my hand, and give it tons of rest. Nothing major, just more annoying than anything.

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And just remember!

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Keep up the hard work in whatever you are doing. Something is better than nothing!

Workout Tuesday 5/21/2014

Goood Morning!!! ❤

So yesterday I officially went on my first bike ride in who knows how many years. It all came back too, I didn’t fall off and face plant onto the cement (yay haha).

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Look at my little biker self :-p

Anywaysss… My roommate has been biking to and from work for sometime now and I can see why she does it (besides having a completely crappy car that breaks down on her all the time…). It was a decent workout, and I could really feel it in my quads for the small amount of time we spent riding around the neighborhood. Great way to get out and about, and even participate in some cool fundraisers/charity events (such as the Tour De Cure!).

So back to my workout:

  • Romanian Deadlifts
  • Smith Machine Squats- Narrow (hip width), Wide (outside of hips), and Sumo.
    • 20lbs x12 (1 set of each)
      • superset with 20 lunges (alternating 10 on each leg)
    • 40lbs x12 (1 set of each)
      • superset with 20 lunges

Small break because my workout buddy FORGOT she had a meeting at work so we had to break it up and go back when she was done :-p (workout fail)

Concluding with a nice stretching sesh, and a good nights sleep! ❤

Keep fighting! Keep pushing towards your goals :). It may take longer than you would like but you will get there one day!

Workout Monday 5/20/14

It’s getting close to the end of the Reinvent challenge at my gym (Vent Fitness)! So I am going to be adding a lot more cardio to my workouts to try and lose some of this pudge! Also…I am attempting to eat better also… ATTEMPTING… my 7+ Hershey Cookies N Crème bar binge yesterday might not have helped… (I know I should fight my food cravings when I am down…but…it is so hard…and it just makes me feel so much better- until I get a stomach ache… :-p ) That is my weakness by far: my diet. I applaud those of you who have it all under control, because I can’t seem to muster the will sometimes to stick to it.

Alsooo… I have what I believe to be tendonitis in my thumb. So lucky me! I am wearing a thumb stabilizer hand brace, which let me tell you is oh so attractive (and fun…). I feel like right around 23/25 my body has rebelled against me and started falling apart. This is also why I am so adamant and into my workout routine. I need to stay as healthy as possible for as long as I can! On to what I am really supposed to be posting about: my workout.

  • 6:30 am Kinetix with Arleen
    • A metabolic session taking you through a 4-cell training process focusing on power and strength in a functional calorie blasting workout!
  • 8:15 am BodyVive
    • Low-impact group fitness workout using VIVE balls, tubes, and optional hand weights
    • I will just mention that it says low impact, but in no way is this class easy. You can adjust the tube strength for more resistance, and it burnnssss!
  • 10:00 pm I took a 4.2 mile run with a small pee/Dino potty break at 3 miles in.

Feeling good and accomplished! Now I’m off to leg day at the Latham Vent, with my bestest Jenniferrrr. ❤

About (Also in my profile, and about section)

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(haha sorry just had to add that picture…I crack myself up baha)

Just thought I would throw this on my main page also! ❤

  • I had, for many years, thought there was something very wrong. If you know what I mean you understand how one can feel “crazy,” and that no matter what they do they can’t seem to fix the issue.
  • I have memories of days or periods of time when I would feel amazing and be able to drink anything, do anything, and be anything. I would charge things to credit cards because it felt good to do things I couldn’t afford. I acted uncharacteristically wild, and although I do reflect on those times with a strange sort of fondness, I know they were horribly wrong.Then there were the times when I would just lose the will and ability to push forward. I would become mentally and sometimes physically down to the point where I couldn’t finish my semesters in college. Fatigue and crushing sadness caused me to miss out on a lot of opportunities, and pushed my life goals farther and farther from reach. People might say you just didn’t try or study hard enough, or I am lazy. Let me correct you on this. I have had a 106.5 final grade in Anatomy, and I even held and instructed study sessions in my home. I have over a 3.0 GPA on my associates degree from my community college and most of my grades are all A’s and B’s if you were to look at my transcripts. I even worked 30+ hours at 2 jobs while taking 6 classes this past spring of 2013 ( in which I received all A’s and B’s).
  • Recently, this past fall, I had another episode of depression where I could barely get out of bed. It was right at the beginning of my second semester at yet another university. If you have not experienced it, I cannot explain to you how I just can’t do what I want and/or need to do. I get a strange sort of anxiety when it comes to doing schoolwork, so it is almost impossible for me to study, write papers, or get any homework done. It is inexplicably frustrating and the oncoming failure just piles guilt and embarrassment right on top of everything else.  Luckily, I have a tremendously wonderful support group of doctors, friends, and family, who helped me to understand and recognize my symptoms.
  • I had been previously diagnosed with ADD.  so I was on generic Adderall. Needless to say, the medication most likely only aggravated some of my symptoms. I ended up with tachycardia (fast heart beat) and palpitations due to the stress and anxiety, and was put on a beta blocker. I couldn’t remember things, I was extremely forgetful to the point where I overflowed the bathtub for 20 minutes while I was in the next room. (I was a mess!) I finally broke down and went to the doctor and was like “something is extremely wrong.” I wrote a summary of all of the things I felt were off that I had done/gone through in my life in a document and gave it to him. He read everything and suggested that he thought I might be bipolar. Now you might find this weird, but I was so relieved to finally get an answer/explanation to everything that had been going on. It is awful to feel like you cannot function properly, but have others telling you there is no reason why you can’t. It is very difficult for people who have not experienced mental illness personally to really grasp the concept of the symptoms and their repercussions. With knowledge comes understanding, and this is my goal in life. To learn more about myself, my symptoms, my illness, and the path to a better life. I don’t care if I am not specifically bipolar or not. I know I have anxiety, depression, and manic issues.
  • Never be afraid to admit you are weak and suffering. Say something. If one person dismisses you find another who will listen with an open mind. You are not crazy, you just have mental obstacles to overcome. You are not weak, your strength just lies somewhere else.
  • Remember most people struggle silently. Try to be courteous and nice to everyone you meet. A smile or wave just might brighten someone’s day, or even save a life. I am here for you. I usually don’t let people know when I am down, or anxious, until it is too late. People with mental illnesses are not going to run around saying ‘I’m DEPRESSED!!” to everyone. Really? No… They are more likely going to try to hide it.

We are normal people trying to live normal lives.

Live strong. Live beautifully.