Let’s Go!

So I am finally almost home.

Gave up on the struggle here because honestly, besides a few friends, I had nothing left here to keep struggling for. I was working three jobs, working out when I could, and trying to maintain relationships with friends (who turned out to not really be my friends anyways). So I officially said f* it I am going home.

This past weekend my daddy and my niece (she was a big help lol) came to help me move most of my things. I have to sell or give away the rest. I am so blessed to have such a supportive and caring family. He would have came that night if I had really need him that badly. How many people can say that their family loves them that much? That they would drop everything immediately to be there for you.

My sister also was a huge factor in my decision to come home. I had no idea how much my troubles were affecting my family as well. She told me she was tired of seeing me struggle and being so unhappy. Until then I hadn’t ever heard her really talk to me like that. It reminded me that I was loved unconditionally, and sometimes family is the best place to find it.

Dealing with the depression of relationships lost, and failing to maintain a sufficient lifestyle here is hard. However, I am going to make the most of it. I am going to go back home, get some skills, find a good job and move on. Who knows what lies ahead of me!

Thank you to all of you for your support and I hope if anything I can inspire and reach at least one of you.

Honestly I have had to take my clonazepam the past couple of nights to sleep well. I am so hesitant to take them now because some unkind man I know (no names) basically tried to tell me I was going down the road of a pill popping alcoholic. <– I most certainly am not but oh well it still hurts/bothers me. But I gave in after being unable to sleep really for over a week. I was so tired I actually got sick and ended up sleeping for 14 hours the day before yesterday, and 8+ hours yesterday. I feel much better, but I have a lingering cold.

I shouldn’t be ashamed to take my medicine. No one should. It is the cruelty of other people who do not bother to really understand the affects of mental illness. I swear, whenever I tell someone I am slightly bipolar and have anxiety and depression issues they view/treat me different. It almost always gets used against me in a relationship. Which isn’t fair at all. I wouldn’t hold it against a diabetic, or a cancer patient that they  needed to do certain things to survive and live day to day Why do people judge me. STUPID STIGMA!!!! ❤ lol Ok enough of my rant.

It is leg day tonight. Will post my workout later.

Stay strong

Don’t be afraid to love yourself for who you are.

p.s. The picture is because I got my first blender bottle today! So I can mix my shakes by hand since I will probably not be going to a gym that offers to blend my shakes for me (I have been spoiled!!!). It is a milestone!

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Protein Shake of the Day

I started out blending a lot of my meals because it was the only way I would eat certain foods. For example, cottage cheese and carrots. There is just something about them that makes me cringe when I swallow and it never settles right in my stomach after (I know it is probably all in my head). However, if I blend these babies together I have no problem drinking them. So for those of you would like to know, this is how it goes:

Ingredients:

  • 10 almonds
  • 1 tbsp. of chia seeds
  • 1/2 of a large carrot or however much you would like
  • handful of baby spinach
  • 1/2 cup of greek yogurt
  • 1/2 cup of egg whites (uncooked)
  • 2 scoops (or however much desired) of Isagenix Want More Energy for flavoring
  • Ice as needed
  • Water to desired thickness

Approximate nutritional value:

  • 252 kcal
  • 19g carbs
  • 6g fat
  • 9g protein
  • 304mg sodium

Usually I would also add 1/2 cup of cottage cheese or do 1/4 cup of greek and cottage cheese. Unfortunately Sam’s Club had this huge recall on the tubs I usually buy so I haven’t gotten around to buying more. Thanks for the recall Sam’s Club by the time I got the message I had already eaten it all :-p (I’m still alive and well thank God…).

Also to explain the baggies, I am a very busy woman all of a sudden! God answered my prayers and I am finally going to hopefully be working 40+ hours a week! So here goes no life :-p. I am in a lot of debt thanks to my bipolar disorder, but I won’t let that get me down, I will fight it and do whatever I can to get ahead! I just pray that I won’t get knocked back down! (so digressed there….) Baggies! Sheesh my attention span really kicked in there… I just made some prepped baggies so it is easier for me to make my shakes in the morning when I need to run out the door!

I am also in no way trying to push the Isagenix products on you. I just find it easier to get the protein I need using a powder shake mix, and tastier too with their electrolyte flavors. If I didn’t add the citrus flavor that contains electrolytes etc. it would be extremely hard for me to drink the shake. The citrus makes it way more than bearable. I have even grown to love it.

Just remember, this is a *healthy shake*, and do not expect it to be like something you get from McDonalds.

Any feedback or suggestions would be very much appreciated ❤ Thank you for your support and love in following me. I really love sharing my life with others, and hope I can be here for you if you ever need anything.