Check this out ❤ More to come. I will be starting to be more active again starting today! Love you, and hope everyone has been doing well!!!
This is basically a PowerPoint calling for action.
There are millions of people suffering around the world with Mental Illnesses who are posting on social media sites just waiting for people like you and me to notice them. To love them. To give them hope. Please take the time to go through the slides ❤
So I was sorely disappointed when I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to just start up where I left off a few months ago. I tried to dive head first back into my workouts… and let’s just say that was a bad idea. My sciatica came back which has hindered my further right now, and I basically crashed and burned. So I am going to be taking baby steps to get back in the game… even though I am not happy about it! I call my workouts my “old lady” workouts now. I hate getting older! lol
I wish I had never stopped, but hey, sometimes life gets in the way.
However I am making changes in my job and in my life in order to focus more on my health.
I am meeting with one of the trainers at my gym to discuss personal training and guidance in reaching my goals. I know personal training is expensive, and I get that most people don’t do it. The only problem is that without proper attention and education, a lot of people are doing the exercises wrong. In failing to do them correctly you are setting yourself up for possible injury, working the wrong muscles/not getting the maximum benefit out of the exercise, and just generally failing at life (lol jk!).
My gym (Vent Fitness) also does these small classes called NXT classes which I found extremely helpful. It is almost like personal training because there are only a maximum of 5 people per class. The trainers at the gym teach them, and they really help you learn, correct your form, and push you to be better. Getting in the reinvent program which allowed me to take these classes for a couple of months was beyond worth it. I love my gym, and I really believe in it. You may hear me talking about them all the time, and you’ll just have to get over it :-p
Ok…I just got a little off topic…
What are my goals!??
get certified to teach some sort of group class (yoga, spinning etc!)
compete in either a bikini or figure competition in 2015
I just got a new job that is going to hopefully bring less stress into my life. I just realized that no matter how much I work, and how much effort I put into one of the jobs I am currently working, it won’t matter. I will never get the recognition I deserve, or the appreciation. I am killing myself for inadequate pay, and slight chaos. For someone who can have anxiety issues, chaos is not good…not good… :-p
I just found an old diary of mine and what I said in it broke my heart, and reminded me why I am making these changes in my life. Push forward and fight! ❤ If something is causing unnecessary stress you need to cut it out. Run away from it as far as you can. Stress is a poison that bleeds you till you are dry, and have nothing left to give. I personally have to be very aware of stress and how it is affecting my life. When I start feeling anxious every day, and on the verge of “freaking” out on someone- that means I need to stop.
M diary entry goes like this:
“I am going to try to hold my head high
and no one sees my pain…
I will hide it until I break again
as I always do.”
I never want to be here again.
I may not have a choice in my life’s paths, but I will choose to run a difference course.
(haha sorry just had to add that picture…I crack myself up baha)
Just thought I would throw this on my main page also! ❤
I had, for many years, thought there was something very wrong. If you know what I mean you understand how one can feel “crazy,” and that no matter what they do they can’t seem to fix the issue.
I have memories of days or periods of time when I would feel amazing and be able to drink anything, do anything, and be anything. I would charge things to credit cards because it felt good to do things I couldn’t afford. I acted uncharacteristically wild, and although I do reflect on those times with a strange sort of fondness, I know they were horribly wrong.Then there were the times when I would just lose the will and ability to push forward. I would become mentally and sometimes physically down to the point where I couldn’t finish my semesters in college. Fatigue and crushing sadness caused me to miss out on a lot of opportunities, and pushed my life goals farther and farther from reach. People might say you just didn’t try or study hard enough, or I am lazy. Let me correct you on this. I have had a 106.5 final grade in Anatomy, and I even held and instructed study sessions in my home. I have over a 3.0 GPA on my associates degree from my community college and most of my grades are all A’s and B’s if you were to look at my transcripts. I even worked 30+ hours at 2 jobs while taking 6 classes this past spring of 2013 ( in which I received all A’s and B’s).
Recently, this past fall, I had another episode of depression where I could barely get out of bed. It was right at the beginning of my second semester at yet another university. If you have not experienced it, I cannot explain to you how I just can’t do what I want and/or need to do. I get a strange sort of anxiety when it comes to doing schoolwork, so it is almost impossible for me to study, write papers, or get any homework done. It is inexplicably frustrating and the oncoming failure just piles guilt and embarrassment right on top of everything else. Luckily, I have a tremendously wonderful support group of doctors, friends, and family, who helped me to understand and recognize my symptoms.
I had been previously diagnosed with ADD. so I was on generic Adderall. Needless to say, the medication most likely only aggravated some of my symptoms. I ended up with tachycardia (fast heart beat) and palpitations due to the stress and anxiety, and was put on a beta blocker. I couldn’t remember things, I was extremely forgetful to the point where I overflowed the bathtub for 20 minutes while I was in the next room. (I was a mess!) I finally broke down and went to the doctor and was like “something is extremely wrong.” I wrote a summary of all of the things I felt were off that I had done/gone through in my life in a document and gave it to him. He read everything and suggested that he thought I might be bipolar. Now you might find this weird, but I was so relieved to finally get an answer/explanation to everything that had been going on. It is awful to feel like you cannot function properly, but have others telling you there is no reason why you can’t. It is very difficult for people who have not experienced mental illness personally to really grasp the concept of the symptoms and their repercussions. With knowledge comes understanding, and this is my goal in life. To learn more about myself, my symptoms, my illness, and the path to a better life. I don’t care if I am not specifically bipolar or not. I know I have anxiety, depression, and manic issues.
Never be afraid to admit you are weak and suffering. Say something. If one person dismisses you find another who will listen with an open mind. You are not crazy, you just have mental obstacles to overcome. You are not weak, your strength just lies somewhere else.
Remember most people struggle silently. Try to be courteous and nice to everyone you meet. A smile or wave just might brighten someone’s day, or even save a life. I am here for you. I usually don’t let people know when I am down, or anxious, until it is too late. People with mental illnesses are not going to run around saying ‘I’m DEPRESSED!!” to everyone. Really? No… They are more likely going to try to hide it.